Internet Dating Stories

Internet Dating Stories

Joel's Story

I'm an early adopter, the term marketing types use to describe those who dive into something new early on. What I dove into was Internet dating. You know, online matchmaking. While that's not something I'd readily admit to my parents, it's become pretty much accepted as a legitimate way for people to meet.

In the looks department I'm pretty sure I fit in somewhere between troll and Kevin Costner. I keep myself in reasonably decent shape. But since I'm in my 40's, women aren't exactly waiting in line at the door. I'm divorced a number of years now, and conventional dating post-divorce didn't exactly come easy. In fact I don't know when dating ever was easy. I never had any smooth pickup lines, and the bar scene just doesn't seem right anymore. Let alone the fact that meeting women in an alcohol haze (me and them) can lead to all kinds of misgivings.

So back when AOL first got going (when I should have bought stock), I leapt into chat rooms and met some interesting women that way. Over a period of a couple months, I met three interesting women who were local... and two who lived half-way across the country. The first of the local women I met I invited to lunch at a downtown restaurant. Bad move. Very quickly we found we had zero chemistry and the half hour lunch seemed to drag on forever. Note to self: First time meeting, make it simple. Meet for coffee. Have a bail out plan... e.g. "Nice meeting you, I've gotta get back to the office." The other two women were pleasant but things went no further than a brief meeting.

Next stupid move. As part of my solo vacation to the west coast, I figured I'd casually work in a visit with one of my long-distance Internet chat contacts. Lust drove that decision. We never spoke on the phone, only chatted online. She was lots of high energy and exuded a certain sexuality, but she was half my age. Fortunately instincts kicked in and I called off our rendezvous. I had the eerie feeling if I dropped by her house, I'd meet dad at the door. Note to self: Check mid-life crisis hormones at the door. Meet women at least a little closer to my own age.

Okay... now my third significant Internet date came to visit me. She was close to may age, high energy, bright, well-traveled, fun, very sexual both online and on the phone. We corresponded via email and spent hours on the phone prior to her visit. All sounds good right? With no illusions and safety in mind, she flew into town and booked herself a room at a hotel. We were to meet at the hotel restaurant. And we do. Gulp... she's pretty, but hmmmm, compared to her picture, she's more weighty then I envisioned. Call me shallow, but I'm not particularly turned on by large-ish women. Well, given our months of correspondence, I try to overlook this, saying to myself. "Self, it's just a few extra pounds. She's fun. Deal with it." Remarkably, we had fun during her visit. Nothing sexual, but a good time. This long distance relationship goes on for about a year. We get to know each other very well... mostly over the phone. We even discuss my issue with weight, and it sounds like she's working on that. I travel to the mid-West for the next visit. But to my dismay the weight thing has gone up, not down. Tough spot to be in. I won't go into the spiraling downward details, but that long-distance relationship ended soon after. Two notes to self: Make sure I see several recent pictures of Internet dates... a full body view is essential for people like me who have issues. Re-consider long distance relationships... expensive and difficult to sustain. Next time think dates within a half-day's drive or closer.

Since AOL days are now long behind me (I never did buy that stock, arrrrgh), I've moved into online matchmaking sites. They make it much easier to 'narrow the field'. I've met some great local women through them, and shared some very good times. I've learned most of the hard lessons about Internet dating (I hope). I trust you'll not repeat my mistakes. Final note to self: Keep remembering that online matchmaking is not a quest for a soul mate, but a very helpful catalyst in getting to meet a lot of different, nice women. No need to add that pressure to yourself. The soul mate part comes of its own accord.

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